Baby's First Christmas

Hello, sweet love,

On Sunday at church, Papa and I sat next to you and your mom. Your dad was on duty in the sound booth. He's been doing that since he was 12 years old. Right now, he's taking turns with your Uncle Patrick. Someday, maybe you will make sure everyone sounds fabulous.

Anyway, when Nana leaned over to say hello to you, you smiled and reached for me. It was the first time you did that, and my heart felt all soft and gushy and full again. You have that effect on me. You are such a charmer, little man!

You and your beautiful mama.
Photo by Josh.
All rights reserved.

Speaking of which, on Christmas Eve, which was your 5-month birthday, we all drove up to Redding to spend the holiday with your great-grandmother, "Daria the Great." It was the first time you had met most of the family, because they came from all over to see each other and to meet you. They came from Oregon and even all the way from Halifax, Nova Scotia! You charmed the socks off all of them, Derek, with your shy smile and the sweet way you coyly hide your face, burrowing against the shoulder of whoever is holding you. And, naturally, everyone wanted to hold you. They all agreed that you were very, very good. I think they meant you didn't cry and fuss the way most babies might around all those new people and in a strange place.

There is something about babies that brings out the best in everyone. People look into your eyes and see brightness and hope and curiosity and eagerness and trust. When you coo and smile, it makes them happy and fills their hearts with wonder. It helps them to focus on what is important and to forget about their worries and woes, even just for a moment. That is a wonderful gift to give to someone, Derek. And so, on Christmas, you gave lots of people something very special.

Christmas is the day when we celebrate the most special gift of all, the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus, the Christ. Each Christmas, we remember that God, because He loves us so much, sent His very own Son to be with us here on earth, to show us how to live and to be our bridge to God. Someday, you will understand just how important and wonderful that is, and what a unique place you hold in God's heart.

Merry Christmas, little one!

You make my heart smile,
Nana

Girl Time

Hi, sweet Derek,

Papa even gave you a bottle!
Here's proof!
Photo by Chris.
All rights reserved.

Last week, your mom brought you to Nana and Papa's place so we could watch you for a little bit, as she was meeting a friend for some "girl time." "Girl time" is something that grown-up ladies, especially mommies, sometimes need so they will feel connected to something called "the outside world." When babies are very small, as you are right now, mommies spend lots and lots of time with them at home. Home is "the inside world." The inside world is wonderful, but mommies sometimes start to feel like part of the furniture there.

Mommies love to spend time with their babies, of course. They love to hold their babies, and feed their babies, and listen to their babies coo, and celebrate their babies' milestones. But grown-ups also need adult conversation. And so mommies like to see their "outside world" friends so they can chat and laugh and be care-free for a little while. This is no reflection on their babies or the love they feel for their babies. Strange as it seems, it actually helps them to be better mommies.

Photo by Chris.
All rights reserved.

And speaking of milestones, Derek, you were all smiles for Papa yesterday. That made him so happy, and he was doing all kinds of silly things to keep you smiling at him. Thank you for making your Papa feel loved and appreciated and funny. I'm glad you're such good friends already. Oh, dear. My heart just filled up with so much tenderness that it started to leak out of my eyes a little bit. That's called "getting misty-eyed." And it's another one of those things you'll experience as you grow.

We love you so!

Big hugs,
Nana

Two Months Old!

Dearest Derek,

Here you are, two months old already! Nana can't believe how quickly time is passing and how fast you are growing. You weigh more than twice as much as you did when you were born!

You'll never guess what happened just as I started to write this letter to you. Your Papa's brother, Uncle Bob, is your dad's uncle, which makes him your great-uncle. But don't worry. It isn't as complicated as it sounds.Maybe you will call him "Bob the Great." Anyway, Uncle Bob came by. Naturally, I put my writing aside so that I could talk with him.

He lives a little bit far away, so he stayed with Nana and Papa while going to a special training for nurses who work with cardiac patients, to learn how to do some special testing to help them. "Cardiac" patients are people who might have something wrong with their hearts.  Uncle Bob is very smart, and he is also very kind and generous. You will like him very much, I think, when you get to know him. He has very interesting ideas. One of his favorite things is to go on vacations to exotic places like Bora Bora so he can swim with colorful tropical fish. After you learn how to swim, maybe you will enjoy that, too. And I know you will like his cars!

There was another important visitor this month, and she came from hours and hours away to meet you, Derek. She is your great-grandmother, Nana's mother! Her name is Daria (the Great?), and she is 90 years old! Yes, that is very old. But don't tell her that, okay? It might hurt her feelings, because she still feels very young on the inside.

Happy grandmas!

She was so excited to be able to meet you in person, and to hold you, and to look at you. I could see by the stars in her eyes that she had fallen completely in love with you, just like I did. And when your mom sent out the birth announcements, your Great-grandmother Daria called me on the phone to tell me she couldn't believe how you were smiling in the picture, and how handsome you were, and how sweet. I could hear the pride in her voice. It sounded all soft and full of wonder, and she was chuckling and laughing and happy.

You are so special to her, Derek, just as you are so special to me. I can't wait to cuddle you tomorrow!

Much love,
Nana

Baby Goes Out

Hiya, Derek,

Last Sunday after church, you and your mom and dad joined Papa and me (and a whole bunch of other people) for lunch at Mike & Gayle's restaurant, where you mostly slept and didn't even cry once.

Could your dad look more proud?
I think not!
Photo by Chris. All rights reserved.

I mentioned the name of the restaurant because this coming weekend will be their last in business due to a problem negotiating a new lease. That's grown-up stuff that you won't care about for a long time! Sometimes, Derek, no matter how hard we try or how much people support what we're doing or how well we do it, we will not succeed. But that doesn't mean we should not give it our best shot. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!

Nana went off on a tangent again. That seems to happen a lot, but I hope you will be patient with me, or maybe even think my tangents are endearing. We shall see.

Here's what I meant to tell you when I started this letter, Derek. When I picked you up to hold you, because I just love holding you, you tensed yourself up really tight all over. Your tiny body felt, for the first time, as though it is becoming strong and solid and not delicate. Of course, you only weigh eight pounds, so you are still very small and just starting to learn how to hold your head up. Still, it was thrilling! Right now, you fit perfectly in the curve of my arm, close to my body. Soon, you will be giving me hugs. I love hugs, and I know I will especially love yours.

Papa and I are so proud of you!

Much love,
Nana

Babysitting!

Dear Derek,

Oh, Nana is doing so well! I didn't call you Bump! Oops. Well, I can only do well for just so long, much like most people. Pretty soon, you will understand what that's like, Derek.

Last Friday, your mom had very special company all the way from Minnesota. That's very far. Your mom's friend who was the maid of honor at your parents' wedding was visiting. I thought they would like to have some "girl time," and so I was very happy indeed when your mom asked me to watch you while they went grocery shopping. Okay, so I offered, and she accepted. They were gone a little longer than expected, and you were so hungry! It was a good thing that Mommy had left some milk in the freezer for you.

It's been a very long time since I've warmed up a bottle for a newborn! It was your "first" bottle since coming home from the hospital, and you drank it all down in about five minutes. And then you didn't even burp. Your mom says you are a champion nurser. Yes, you are!

He's a good nurser!
Photo by Harry.
All rights reserved.

I love to hold you, Derek. Your sweet little face is so adorable and tiny and precious, and you smell good, too. What a handsome little man you are.

Sunday was your first day at church. The ladies were very good about looking at you without touching you. Well, most of them. And the rest of them couldn't help themselves. Happily, you didn't mind too much. It's hard to be upset with them. They all love you so much already. Church ladies go a little gaga over babies.

Papa holding Derek.
Photo by Chris.
All rights reserved.

And today, Papa and I got to go to your house to watch you together! You were so good and slept right through until Nana had finished a few chores to help out your mom, and then you "ate" really well again. But you had a couple of really big burps for Nana. Your mom said it would make your dad so proud!

My heart gets very full whenever I think of you, Derek.

Much love,
Nana

Right on Cue!

Dearest Derek,

Yesterday, Papa and I visited you at home for the very first time. We were super excited to see you outside of the hospital, and we're so glad they let you go home with your mommy and daddy.

Your mama said that you are a perfect angel so far. Well, of course you are! And it's a good thing, too, because new moms and dads are very, very tired from not getting enough sleep and from worrying about every little hiccup and noise (or lack of it).

As I held you, your mommy and daddy and Papa and I were talking about the meaning of your name ("the people's ruler"). I gazed at your tiny face, and I told you that you are small right now; but, before you know it, you will be big and strong and tall. You will be "Derek, the Mighty." I said that, for sure, you are definitely the ruler of the people in your house! And do know what you did? You chose that very moment to smile really big! Brilliant! We all laughed and laughed.

Your mommy said that your timing is perfect already. And it is.

Much love,
Nana

A Star Is Born

Hi, Derek,

Early, early in the morning today, Papa and I got a phone call from your Daddy that it was time to go to the  hospital. Your Mommy and Daddy were on their way there so you could be born! I was so excited as I got ready to go. It was very dark outside, a time of day when I am usually sound asleep. I am not a morning person, but for you, Derek, anything, anytime, anywhere!

We arrived at the hospital about ten minutes after your Grandma Jane. Papa and I waited in a special room outside, but she was able to see you being born! It was a wonderful experience for her, Derek, and she got happy tears in her eyes telling me about it. She is a lovely and loving person. I feel blessed that your Daddy has such a nice mother-in-law and you have a family that adores you.


And so you made your appearance in the world at 4:49 this morning. You did not like your first bath and screamed the whole time. I thought I heard you say, "Hey! What do you think you are doing to me? Leave me alone, already. I want to take a nap!" to the nice nurse who was taking care of you. Your voice is strong.

As I watched your Daddy holding you gently and giving you a tiny bit of formula to tide you over until Mommy is ready, I could see he is a natural. Most new dads are a little nervous holding their infants, but not your Dad. It was as if he'd been practicing for years. He's an awesome Daddy already. 


When I held you in my arms, my heart felt like it got really big and full. And when your Papa held you, your tiny body seemed to disappear into his tender embrace. 


Welcome to our world, Derek. You were created especially by God. You are a miracle. There has never been anyone like you, and there will never be anyone else like you. You are unique and valued and gifted, and this is your birthday. So, happy birthday!


I love you, little one,
Nana

Baby Showers and Wall Colors

Dear Derek,

Well, your mom has some great friends! There were two baby showers in one week, the first on Sunday afternoon hosted by Mrs. Baumgardner, and the other the following Saturday afternoon hosted by Miss Russell. There were some very special guests, including your mom's friends and your aunts and great-aunts and grammas. And also your great-grandmother, "Daria the Great!" She is going to be 90 at the end of the month, and she traveled for hours to be there. She's my mom, and she's amazing.

This is the punch I made.
It was yummy!

A wonderful time was had by all, and I was blown away once again by the generosity of others. So many gifts of clothing and baby gear and, of course, dozens and dozens of diapers and baby wipes. I don't think you're going to have to worry much about what to wear or whether your bottom is going to stay dry. Not that babies worry about all that, but mommies sure do. Your mom will be able to change your clothes five or six times a day with no problem!

I've told you already how beautiful your mom looks. She is happy and excited and glowing. There is a look in her eyes that says she is very relaxed and calm as she waits for you to make your appearance, Bump. I know she will be the very best mom and will dote on you. She will be amazed by your every growth step.

Your dad likes car races.
He hopes you will, too.

And your daddy, well, he's got that same excited anticipation and relaxed look. He is already totally devoted to you, as you will see when you feast your eyes on your room. He painted it for you with the help of Papa Harry, and it is so perfect for a little boy. Or even a big boy, for that matter. You will love it.

By the way, while the ladies were busy at the baby showers, guess what your daddy was up to? He and his friends had a "Man Shower" up in the mountains. I think it was a great way for them to celebrate, too, and yet be very manly at the same time. Be sure to ask him to see the pictures when you are a little older. Nana's heart is smiling at the thought of it, Derek.

It's only a few more weeks now before I get to see you and hold you, little one. What a day (or night) that will be for all of us who have been waiting and waiting. You are loved!

Hugs and kisses,
Nana

Your Mom Looks Adorable

Hi, Bump,

Your mom looks so healthy and cute, Derek, and there's a light in her eyes that shows she's so happy. Her "baby bump" (That's what they're calling it these days) is definitely showing now, and your dad is really excited. He says you kick him sometimes, and he likes that a lot. It makes him feel so connected to you already. Your mom gets to feel you kick and move all the time, of course, and she loves it. But it's so special when others can, too. We all know you are in there, and feeling that movement when we happen to put a hand gently on your mom's tummy at exactly the right time is its own reward for having waited patiently. Okay, maybe not so patiently, but certainly hopefully.

I finished a special gift that I've been making for you. I don't want to say too much about it, since your mom and dad haven't seen it yet, but I really hope you will like it and find it cuddlesome. That isn't actually a word, but it exactly describes how I hope you'll feel when you're wrapped in it. Oops! Too much information!

I do that a lot. I hope you won't mind.

Love you so much,
Nona...Nana...Gamgam...or whatever you decide to call me

Bump Has a Name!

Dearest Bump,

Today, I leaned over close to your mom's tummy and said hello to you using your "real" name for the very first time. I think your mom and dad find me strange (yet funny) when I do stuff like that, but I want you to recognize my voice even before you see me in person. That way, when I meet you in person for the first time, you will already know me.

Derek is a very good name. It is a strong name. I looked it up, and it means "people's ruler." It's a popular name, the website says, and it's been popular for years and years. No wonder!

So, I thought about the meaning of your name for a while, and here are a couple of ideas that entered my head. "People's ruler" obviously means "ruler of the people," which may or may not be a benevolent (good and kind) thing. But if you look at it a different way, it also can mean "popular ruler of the people," in the way that Princess Diana was "the people's princess." (She was much loved and very looked up to by many, Bump. She was also beautiful. Princesses should be beautiful if they possibly can.)

Your parents have given you a name that speaks of destiny. I know that you will be a good and kind person. The very best of leaders with the most awesome of destinies.

Much love and many hugs and kisses,
Nana (or whatever you choose to name me)

The Generosity of Others

Dear Bump,

Today, the guest bed is piled high with wonderful things that have been dropped off here for you by a very beautiful lady (your Aunt). They are from a very generous lady (her boss), whose own little boys won't be using them anymore, because they (the boys) are getting so big.

And so I am thinking of how kind and giving people really can be, even to people they don't know. And how, sometimes, it's actually easier to be kind and giving to people you don't know. But we won't go into that right now. It's a subject that'll probably come up sometime in the future, and we can talk about it then. I'm looking forward to talking with you, finding out all about you, and being there for you as you explore life on earth.

I think your mom and dad will be really happy when they see your pile of goodies. They will be thankful. They will know that there are a lot of good thoughts behind the gesture, and everyone feels good when they know that someone has been thinking of them in a kind and loving way. Bump, it is very important to be kind and loving to others. And also to be thankful.

Hugs and kisses,
Nana (or Gamma or whatever you decide you want to call me)

It's a Boy!

Oh, you precious thing! I saw your new "picture" today, the one of your tiny feet, side by side, facing the "camera." Just like those "baby feet" pins that we pro-lifers wear on our sweaters and scarves and lapels and hats. They say to everyone, "Preborn babies may be small, but look how cute they are, even at this stage of development!"

And the other picture, the one that declares, "It's a boy!" -- I haven't seen that one yet, but your daddy called me right away to let me know. He was so excited! He would have been just as excited if you'd been a girl. He's happy, and so is your mommy. She had a "feeling" that you'd be a boy, and so you are. Moms just know things sometimes.

Back when your daddy was born, you had to wait until a baby was actually delivered to see what the sex was, but not now. Now, parents are able to find these things out way ahead of time, which will make getting your room ready for you so much easier. Some people say this spoils the surprise, but I don't think so at all. It's still a surprise, but it's enjoyed sooner.

Your mom and dad are now deciding what your name is. Notice, I didn't say, "What your name will be." That's because you already have a name. They just have to find it! What an adventure that is for parents, to try to make sure they have found it right. But, somehow, it always is just about perfect. Is that because your name suits you, or is that because you suit your name?

So, now we know a lot more about who you are, and we can create a mental picture of the person you will be. Of course, we know that you are already a person, and have been one from conception. Personhood for all, no matter how small!

Baby's First Photo

February 14

The baby's sonogram has been posted on Facebook!

Already, I can tell that this child is not only adorable and smart, but gifted and destined to greatness, as well. Isn't it amazing how a "picture," no matter how blurred, can elicit feelings of tenderness and devotion?

As I gaze at you, little one, I am overwhelmed with the wonder of it all. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, to whisper nonsense in your ear, to sing to you and tell you stories of how life was when I was a child. Stories that will, no doubt, either mesmerize you or put you to sleep.

You mommy told me that she can feel you flutter sometimes. Her eyes shine brightly when she speaks of you, dear one. And your daddy is a little baffled and confused right now, I think. He's excited about you, and he's trying to figure out who he is now, and who he is going to be for you.

Five months to go! Just imagine how overwhelmed and excited we will all be when we get to see you face to face. In the meantime, I'll look forward to seeing your next "picture"!

Other Nanas Are Crazy, Too

Sunday, we went to a friend's home to meet his new baby boy, Gio. What a darling little guy, and just two weeks old, he is. He looks around with his big, brown eyes, and he gets this really serious look on his tiny face. You get the impression that he's either understanding every word you're saying and thinking you are just plain weird, or else he's trying to figure out what in the world you are babbling about with that stupid grin on your face...and thinking you are just plain weird.

His nona and nono and great-nona were there, too (Yes, he's Italian...How did you guess?), and they behaved just the way grands and greats should. Which is to say, they were falling all over themselves to be the next to hold this treasured new member of the family. They oooh'd and aaaah'd. They clucked. They cooed. Their eyes shone brightly. There is no way anybody could turn down that kind of love and attention. Just no way.

And I thought to myself, "That's just how I'm going to be. That's just how I'm going to be with every single one." And why not? Each one is a treasure, a gift, a jewel. A uniquely gifted individual, created for an amazing purpose and destiny.

There's no way around it. From my perspective, this is life. To gaze into the eyes of your children's children. Wow. I can't wait to meet my coming grandchild. The thought of him or her brings tears to my eyes...tears of wonder and gratitude and amazement.

In the contest for World's Greatest Nana (Nona, Gammy, Gamgam, or whatever), there's lots of competition. And there ought to be. Bring it on.

Guess Who's Going to be a Grammy?

The announcement having been made to the family after weeks of secrecy, I asked my beautiful and beaming daughter-in-law if it was okay for people to know, and she said it was. Naturally, unable to contain myself any longer, I raced to Facebook with the title question and have received, so far, about 40 responses -- heart-felt, congratulatory ones.

My friends are so wonderful, wanting to know all the details. I think they might be almost as excited as I am. But, of course, that's simply not possible. I've been waiting for this day for a very, very long time. This is a dream come true.

But one of the responses took me by surprise. It was from someone on my daughter-in-law's side of the family, and it was, and I quote, "?!" And that's when I realized that I had committed Faux Pas #65,655 of my adult life so far. They hadn't been told yet.

It seems that no matter how hard I try, I can't ever have the appropriate response to anything due to a terminal case of foot in mouth disease. If I'm excited and enthusiastic, I'm obnoxious (apparently). If I'm disappointed, I trip over myself in an attempt to say the right thing, naturally resulting in the wrong thing being said. Somebody help me.

So:  Hey, world. Guess who's going to be a grammy? That's right. ME. And I'm going to be the best nana, nona, grammy, grams, gumgum, or whatever moniker the precious one decides suits me. Take that. So there. I am over the moon, super-happy, and walking on Cloud 9.

Which gives me an idea! I must get my hands on the ultrasound picture of Peanut so I can show everyone how absolutely adorable he or she is already!